What do I have to look forward to this year? I hate how the future is such a mystery, but I guess if it wasn’t it would be pointless. I always wonder what the next thing will bring and then when it gets here I forget that I ever really wondered about it. The present is where its all at so I tend to forget about my past worries quickly. I have a move coming up very soon. I know its going to be here before I know it. Since I’m a horrible procrastinator I will probably get around to packing my shit up about two days before the move. Its just how I roll.

I will be in a new decade with a new home and new school and a new life. I can’t know what all this will bring so there’s no point in worrying about it I suppose. It will all come to be in time, just wait and have fun in the mean time. I’ve actually got to the point where I can’t wait for this move to happen, but at the same time I still dread it. I can’t wait to get away from this place. It’s always the same things and the same drama here. I need to get away from it all. I’m jaded with theses peoples problems. I dread leaving these people though. Sure, most of them have problems that I have tired of but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I will miss them.

In the end though this place has nothing for me. Its a trap. A trap that I have seen too many people fall into. Everyone I’ve met lately have no plans that ever involve getting out of here, even though they all say they want to. It might be because I’ve spent my whole life moving every few years so I’ve never had a real home but I really don’t find moving that difficult. Just set a date and go. It may seem hard, but it becomes easier when you set a plan. When I think of what my future would be when I stay here it makes it so much easier. If I stayed here I would probably continue spending time with these people who always have the same problems and they can never change to fix them. I’ll fall into that same cycle and thats it, game over. I don’t want to be these people. I’m better than that. I will be something more. I think these people are and always will be their own Jane.

The past year has brought me so much. A new outlook on life, new plans, new friends, a new me, depression, happiness. When I think of all the things I did in one year its amazing. It seems like it was so short now. I can’t believe how much it changed me. I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better or the worse. I feel like I’m less optimistic about what life has to bring, I’ve acquired a new cynicism concerning the world. I think this will actually serve me well. Life is not about unending happiness, and I’m so glad I’ve learned this now. Life is about taking the bad with the good and making it work out for the best. I will do my best to do this everyday. So lets see what this move has to bring me. Lets see what this life has to bring me.